The basic issue here is the fighting to keep alive friendships that seem to be reaching a point of expiration and the fact that in the end, I'm always the one left trying and open to the idea of working things out while the other party spends most of their time making excuses rather than putting in the same amount of effort. To be honest, I see what's going on, I'm just pretending like everything is alright because if I don't, then I'll feel just as responsible for letting the relationships that I've built with these people crumble.

At the same time, even though I know that I'm putting more into these friendships than the other parties, I still can't complain because at the end of the day, it's me who's making the decision - even though I'm not the type of person who knows how to not try for these kinds of things. I guess due to the fact that I prioritize and value loyalty more than anything; which is why I'm still willing to stay loyal and true to those who don't reciprocate.

For someone like me who's always done everything I could for my friends, it's hard to try to not care and truly leave a friendship behind.