Lol i forgot to blogg it hehe

Kim, took 8 years, but I finally brought you to our first Tim Horton's date.
xDDDDDDD
I loves you Kimm!!!!! and I gives you my 101st post. :DD


woot!!!! its been 100 posts since I started this blog!!! <3
I'd just like to thank all the people who had help me with this blog and all those awesome stalkers :D
you're all awesome!!!!

Coincidentally, I've finished my rethinking of myself and everything and everyone that I thought were important to me. I've decided to take someone's advice to me and finally stop working so much in terms of my friendships and personal life. You're right. I do tend to do the most work in a friendship, from planning hangouts to fixing relations between people and I'm tired of it. I've finally learned my new epiphany. "Its time for Rebirth, not reconstruction." Its time for me to just let whatever that troubles me die from my life and tackle the future with, not all my baggage, but my experiences and lessons. I'm sorry but I'm tired of being used by all of you and I'm sick of it. Its time to start back from square one and recreate myself, my life, and my circle of friends.

^ My final solution for 2010 and my new years resolution for 2011. <-- hehe sounded kinda poetic.




WOW!!! What the shiit!!!

I literally think that I'm gonna get fat. I'm not lying. I really have to stop eating so much junk food. But hey, its not my fault!!! I've just been eating A LOT lately. When I'm bored, instead of blogging or playing a game online, I just sit there and eat. DAMN, THIS IS A REALLY BAD HABIT :'(

Kay so yesterday, I went to Kim's house to fatass. -_- yes. Surprise surprise -_-". Anyways, after eating...EVERYTHING, we decided to play some super-smash. ROFLOL!! I think I finally found a way to beat Kim. Just walk slowly away from her chanting NOOOO in a lazy and husky voice. Why? because it seems that thanks to a certain duo's squishing and playing pattycake, ( kirby and ness or jiggallypuff) I now don't have to do anything. She'll run into it and then she'll do something stupid and die, or if anything, I'll pull something and in an attempt to keep the crazy girl away from me, I'll probably just A-button her face off the stage. WOOT!!!

Why is it that suddenly, I'm intrigued? To be honest, I admit, unlike some people -_-" **friggen queen** that I might be a little intrigued/infatuated. BUT! I'm probably not gonna give a shit about this one because I'm not that that stage where I want to pursue any feelings in this context. I'm still intrigued though.

Today, on November 23rd, 2010, I, a 16 year old guy, finger painted for the first time.

mood: hellzyea!!!!

OMG!! A LEGIT "FIRST STEP TO EPIPHANY" ON THIS BLOG SINCE A LONG TIME AGO!!!!

Kay, so lately I haven't really been myself. I don't know when I became this way or why , but I can safely say that that was just a phase and that I should be back to my usual self in no time :D

Its strange though because I've always drove myself towards knowing myself inside and out; and yet, lately I've felt as though I knew nothing. As if I was put into a foreign body and as if I had no idea what I was doing and what I was thinking. Perhaps I've just been working too hard in everything. Perhaps I should just take my own advice more often, sit back, and that time do its work. Maybe I'm rushing things. Maybe I'm aiming too high for where I'm at right now. Maybe I just need to find a new outlet. Since there has just been this emptiness. I think that its time I redefined what a few things meant to me in my life, like happiness, or love, friendship. Maybe its time for me to finally, instead of trying to find something to fill in the emptiness, to use what I already have in order to patch up that hole.

Its time I rediscovered what all of these things meant to me...

WELL ITS NOT ALL BAD, BUT MAJORITY IS :(

STILL GOT A BIO TEST TOMORROW, FRENCH TEST VENDREDI, AND THAT NEWS PAPER ASSIGNMENT THAT WAS ASSIGNED LIKE 2 WEEKS AGO DUE MONDAY. <-- I'M NOT PROCRASTINATING, ITS JUST THAT ITS MID-TERMS AND I AM JAM PACKED WITH STUFFS. NOT TO MENTION HOMEROOM VISITS THAT AREN'T POSSIBLE, ELEMENTARY VISITS THAT WERE TODAY, AND CULTURE-SHOCK TOMORROW. <-- EXCITED YES, BUT THERE'S STILL SHIT THAT NEEDS TO BE DONE.

UGH!!!! CAN'T WAIT FOR TUESDAY NEXT WEEK. THAT'S WHEN EVERYTHING IS GONNA BE BETTER.

MOOD: STRESSED. omg break outs. gonna need cleanser and cream DDDDX

As the title states, everything just goes back to normal. Well not necessarily n_n. I'm finally over you :D. yay!!!!!!!
HERE'S TO BEING SINGLE AND LOVING IT!!!!

I don't know why but as the title states, the more I go through this pain, the more insightful i become. I find it ironic because I believe that I'm a naturally selfish person and yet, in order to help others, I have to undergo such painful experiences. Hehe, then again, I guess the hardest times harbor the most important lessons that I still have to learn.
I just don't know how many more of these lessons do I still have to go through because I don't think that I can handle another one without simply breaking down. Even while typing this, I'm again creeping towards the breaking point and I'm beginning to question whether or not I'm even as strong as I initially thought. Lately, its become my biggest fear; breaking down either alone or when I'm with someone. I want to believe that crying is just the result of someone being strong for too long, but in the end, I'm scared that I'm just being weak.

mood: still slowly recovering...?

I've never been so close to the breaking point before. Even though I've gone through that cycle before, to be so close to breaking and falling apart over something that the old me would think of as minuscule is terrifying. Even if I were to put my original feelings aside, the fact that I've done all of that and you can just walk away from it all. It hurts. It sucks. It kills me inside. In the end, you were no different from everyone else. Except that this time, it hurts so much more. I was there when you needed advice. I was there when you needed someone to confide in. I was there when you needed some fun. I know that we weren't friends for that long, and there were still a lot of things that we didn't know about each other. But for once, I didn't care. I just trusted that you'd believe my words and I trusted that you were different from the others.

I haven't forgotten my promise and I really want to keep it. But when you walk away from me like that;when you simply throw out everything that happened, all those times when we talked and chilled together, out the window. You left me there, hurt, damaged, almost broken. And for what? A petty, insignificant little incident. Was it so easy to walk away from it all, from those times, from me? Am I so easily disregarded? Because I'm beginning to think that its my fault that I always end up being a tool and being used, abused, and then thrown out like garbage, only to be brought back for more use.

The funny thing is, I don't think that you even care about any of this. If you were to read this right now, you'd simply laugh your ass off while I'm left broken and forgotten. I've rethought and this is what I came up with. I haven't ranted in a long time. You were the one who brought me back into this slump. This deep hole that I now have to crawl back out of. But thank you for one thing. You atleast taught me that I'm Sisyphus, and its time for me to stop this endless, and pointless cycle.

Again, I haven't forgotten my promise to you and I'll be there for you whenever you need me, but remember. There's a difference between giving up and realizing that enough is enough...

Halloween was really fun :D. We fat-assed, watched the unborn, got scared shitless because of john's dad XDD, played truth...and maybe dare. I kissed you on the cheek and I'd just like to tell you how much you suck because I actually got butterflies and yet its just an on and off thing -_-". But hey, I'm working on it. Fat-assed some more and I got to say a few things after bottling them up for so long. Maybe change is coming at last. Yes I did once say "don't ever assume change unless you were the one who changed the person". However, I'll still hope for change because I was the one who finally said something after so long. Lets just pray that things can go back to the old days.

November... you must be the longest month of life -_-". I don't hate you but I do hate your positioning in this chronology of months because you have to be in the way of so many good things like a new year, Christmas, and new music that I'm patiently waiting for. :D You're also the time of midterms meaning more stress :(. Your positioning sucks.

November, please be kind :D