Monday, February 13, 2012 @ 8:33 PM
Well Since you shut me up before I could even speak, I guess here's where I'll be ranting out how I feel.
It's been a while guys, but it looks like I'm not clear from the drama storm just yet. I just find it funny how I Would be the one that gets picked as the target for overly, unnecessarily, and immaturely dramatic people to start shit with; seeing that I'm the pacifist who tries to help maintain balance between people and even though I have all the reason in the world to fight back and start shit of my own. I'm not going to though because you guys have proven to me that it really isn't worth it.
Honestly, I'm not mad at you guys for what you guys chose to do to me; but rather disappointed. I'm disappointed in the fact that I trusted you guys and invested in the friendship only to have you guys treat me like dirt while you guys try to become even more close to the people that I introduced you two to -each other included-. I'm disappointed in the fact that I trusted that you won't fuck me over only to have you end up becoming the person that I was trying to avoid. But most of all, I'm disappointed in the fact that I let you guys in, because it has become crystal clear that in the end, you guys just used me; and that at the end of the day, I invested my time and effort into people who ultimately aren't mature enough to grasp what a friendship actually means nor are you able to reciprocate what little yet fundamental aspects that being in a true friendship requires. These aren't unattainable expectations that I've placed on you, which is why I find it sad that you guys have yet to be able to understand how important these expectations are because all that stands to prove to me is that you guys really have no grasp as to what a friendship is and that you guys aren't as mature and grown up as you guys try to make everyone think.
What I AM angry about however, is the unprecedented level of selfishness that you guys demonstrated that night. Perhaps this falls back to your lack of maturity, or maybe you guys just really don't know how to respect what other's have done for you. For someone to do so much just to make sure that you guys are having fun and then to have you two just walk out when one person whom you guys don't like show up. That is just BEYOND disrespectful. Especially since this guy worked so hard just so you guys can have fun with him on HIS special day, be forced to replan a everything just to make sure that you guys are still happy with the result, and then go as far as to even paying for you guys to have fun; all of his planning and you guys aren't able to understand the fact that you guys are there for HIM not because YOU guys feel like it. I guess it just goes to show how "mature" you guys really are as opposed to how mature you guys think and claim to be.
At this point, maybe I am coming off as someone with a superiority complex, but I can assure you that that isn't the case. I'm not stating the fact that I'm better than you, but rather that based on the evidence in our own actions, it is in fact, immaculately clear, just how much of a difference there is in the level of maturity as well has human decency there is between you and I. At the end of the day, we ultimately have ourselves to answer to. Based on that, I can honestly say that I'm happy with what I've done and that I don't have anymore regrets towards how I feel towards you guys because I can honestly say through a genuine smile and equally genuine heart and soul that I went that extra mile for you guys and that I was a terrific friend who did and would have continued to do everything I could for you guys. I treated you with the trust, respect, and love that you as a friend that I really did cherish deserved. Therefore, I can look at myself and say that I did all that I could and still have the same level of self respect. But can you, with what you've proven through your actions say the same; that you guys were as genuine towards the friendship as I was?
